Writing Flow, Prayer Flow

Greetings to my precious blog tribe~!

I’ve been gone yet not lost in my posted writing. LOTS of changes! And more to come.

I would love to feel you on my email list — a newsletter is in its early creation stages where I share more on my writing process, my (non-denominational) prayer process, and many of my wild life experiences that brought me to the inner altar (the heart! my writing source!) which is where my NEW memoir focus shall go.

Yep. Changes. The title of my memoir is officially TOAST. It is no longer Miracles and HARD-ONS. It has no name for now. If you’ve ever heard of muscle testing, it’s a neat way to ask if something is optimal for you. For instance, I asked “Is the title Miracles and HARD-ONS” most optimal? And I got back NO.

I felt crushed. Resistant. And then…I surrendered! I PRAYED. And a good feeling immediately came. This empty space filled me with wisdom. And writing flowed and flowed. It’s not for the blog. YET.

Here’s my best advice…PRAY AND MAKE THE FEELING THE PRAYER. What? You might be asking. And I answer, the feeling is the prayer. My teacher Gregg Braden taught me this as did many of the spiritual masters I choose to follow. Click here for Gregg’s YouTube video on how to feel the prayer. Be prepared to be AMAZED. It shows directly how peace is possible.


LinkedIN to Vision

Vision ~ where are my thoughts? Are they focused on creating peace or making war? Vision is feeling inner peace beyond and despite what my outer sight sees. With 2017 as my witness, I am willing to admit that I have been at war with my stated mission — dissolving shame.

I cannot control what other people think, yet this is the hidden mission of my ego when it comes to my writing (or anything else). I think “mission control” is blinding me right into the shame hole. Thankfully, I am wiser now and I know how to climb out of a hole. Ask for peace to undo the error and take corrective action.

Today I asked for peace. And in my meditation, I was guided to write down my vision and purpose. Now I clearly see that my mission serves a vision, not the other way around. Same with a purpose. If I write to serve peace, then my mistaken examples of shame will illuminate the higher path instead of staying stuck on the low road. (Thank you, mediation.)

So, to honor this new choice — focusing on vision — I’ve decided to have this blog and my LinkedIN profile reflect the rich opportunity to connect in peace. Thank you abundantly to all who cheered on my new job title memoir blogger at Miracles and HARD-ONS. Who were excited about writing, courtship, and marriage. That’s all still true. However, a new leader is at the helm. Vision ~

  • My vision ~ a forgiven world as peace, love, and joy
  • My purpose ~ activating a forgiven world
  • My mission ~ writing to dissolve shame
  • My 2017 goal ~ complete the writing of my memoir

I wish you clarity as your New Year’s gift, cherished reader. Self-forgiveness lights the way. In that spirit, I kindly share the intuitive symbol that came to me after many months of walking this path and finding forgiveness of my many mistakes. Peace ~


                      Self-forgiveness lights the way


George Michael Submitted to His Writing

I am deeply grateful for George Michael right now. In the wake of his spirit’s release from the body, I feel stunned as I uncover an appreciation for his ability as a singer and writer. Like many, I am engrossed in watching tributes, old videos, and live interviews. What stands out the most in my awareness is this:

George Michael submitted to his writing gifts.

Evidently the mega-pop star submitted to his demons too, as his private life attests. Then there was the Freeek music video I had never seen until yesterday. Lots of submission going on there! Submission in the holiest sense is never weak, it is strength and honor.

George Michael honored his gift despite the personal pain he felt with fame and coming out as gay. He studied songwriting, he practiced it, he shared it. The December 27 tribute program on *ABC’s 20/20 show ended with a clip of the Grammy award-winning artist in his own words. The focus? George Michael’s clear thoughts on the privilege of writing for others.

This blog post feels woefully inadequate — in my writing and in a gratitude-come-lately sort of way. Yet gratitude is never late, indeed that is impossible. Feelings are in the now and nowhere else. May we choose to feel good now and discard temptation to ignore our gifts. Thank you, George Michael, for inspiring submission to my writing.


*(This show also honored Carrie Fisher, and that’s a whole ‘nother matter for me.)


Submitting to My Writing

Submission is a notion that frightens me. To place my focus on thoughts of what it possibly means to submit is to…become dizzy. To fade in and out. To feel lost.

I worked for several years in the active creative field of erotic sensual massage. Many were the requests for my perceived dominance. I refused to entertain nary a word. At the time, peace was my only desire. Or so I thought.

Why would I want to hit someone? Flog him? Spank him? Hurl insults at him? I had no desire to do such things. My sensual service centered on peace and serenity. Or so I thought.

I moved to New York City on July 4th with my rescue dog for to write and find a mate. Peaceful abundant marriage. Or so I thought. I’ve been shown my inner world since I arrived. As awake as it takes for one to be here and survive (a word my ego loathes), I have found my marriage focus to be dizzy. Fading in and out. Feeling lost.

So I have taken stock. Listened to my Yogi tea leaves. They tell me this:

Develop your intuition.

My intuition has screamed for years and years. WRITE. That’s it. Write, and my entire world will right itself. That is all I am asked to do. My contribution to the world. Not in a great writer way. Just for peace. To be solid and sure. To shine bright and continually. To feel found. And I feel this way, surely my husband, my spiritual mirror in love, shall find me.

I write this post not to shame my ignorance nor uphold any morals. Peace is something beyond all comprehension of what I — any human being with an ego — thinks. So instead I submit to my writing. Submission is something I cannot think about too much right now, I must only do. Write.

laying down my pain on the page

laying down my pain on the page

Submitting to my writing. I feel excited and wonder-filled and energized. Diving into submission is about mutuality. You, my reader, and where we’ll go together. Husband? We’ll talk…I’m writing. So I know you will find me.

I am well aware that the topics I have raised in this post deserve a full flourishing of thought. For you. For me. What I think I know or think I think about sexual submission is not necessarily so. So be it. I’ve begun. I feel more connected to my feelings on submission with this simple post. I am one step closer to my inner mystery. And that’s what I think a blog is for.

All my peace (((MJ)))


Feeling the Light

Welcome, December. I love you.

I love the light. Or so I say. Time to manifest it that way~!!! Why oh why have I insisted on a focus of forgiveness AS my writing? Because I had not surrendered to embracing the light as my only truth and highest good.

My blog was titled “Forgiving Feminine Power” and oh girl, did I have a lot to share in this crazy vein. I still do. Yet if I’m constantly focused on the need to forgive, guess what? Then that’s all I am going to produce on the earth plane. Time to change focus!

What you think about, you bring about. This is not a yada-yada mantra. It’s higher mind’s divine law. As brilliant a topic as forgiveness is…as much as we require massive shifts in consciousness through forgiving what we think we cannot forgive…as much as I long to be a teacher in this holy topic as my contribution to peace in our time…I must embody it as my daily process and let it be.

Let it be sang The Beatles. Did you know John Lennon wrote his song and whole album Mind Games based on his inspired fascination of mystic thinker Jean Houston? Her book Mind Games shows us a way out of our thinking that peace is not possible. I heard a recent teleseminar of Jean’s this week where she taught on quantum power. It inspired me to change my blog focus. Here’s a gold nugget as to why so many people are experiencing chaos or stagnation in their lives. We are…

Frustrated to the point of really needing to wake up.

Yes, Jean! Right you are, girl! Time to feel the light. Maybe it’s December, maybe it’s just my time to wake up, but I am making my New Year’s resolution NOW. I am feeling the light in a life that is mine to embrace — happy writing; joyful courtship of my readers and team; courtship and marriage with a life partner who is my friend, my spirit mate, and my holy mirror in Love.

Thank you for allowing me the grace to quietly ask you, dear reader, for your forgiveness. My unwillingness to court the spark in our relationship has frustrated me into right action. I took this picture below by the East River in Brooklyn after attending a monologue show by Penny Arcade. She spoke in a similar way as Jean…time to let our frustration wake us up. And in MJ terms…Time to feel the light.


Light-in-Motion by the East River

Do you feel the light in this picture? I do. It is showing in my writing. I look forward to sharing with you. Happy December, Happy Christmas, Happy Holiday Light to all.



Welcome Miracles and HARD-ONS

Thanks for being here on my blog today. I am sharing a new look, a new direction, and FINALLY…the title of my much-mentioned memoir project. Ready? (Um, yeah!)

Miracles and HARD-ONS: Self-Amends of a Sensual Masseuse. I am so excited! Don’t let the brevity of this blogpost fool you, I am pumped. Also, I have a work-friendly newsletter/list up, I’d love it if you’d join me there.

The high heels header indicates I’m willing to dive into the white hot anger that I associate with my personal expression of the feminine. It makes no sense, it has caused chaos uncontrollable, and I’m ready to give this over to the page and enjoy life as a woman.

An avant-garde writer’s life is simply LIVED. So thanks for your forgiveness of me regarding timely communication. I’m so dang happy and grateful to FINALLY share this part of my life with you. Keep being BOLD on the page and your personal stage of life and forgive yourself. It’s free!

Warmly, MJ